


What Did You Put In This?

by Zivandre



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Cooking, F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:54:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12765525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zivandre/pseuds/Zivandre
Summary: Bellatrix tries her hand at cooking a romantic meal for Lord Voldemort.





	What Did You Put In This?

Bellatrix Lestrange had never cooked a day in her life. When she had married Rodolphus, they had the use of house elves and had no need to do common work. But now was different. She was not cooking for her lame, filthy husband. She was cooking for the Dark Lord. She had heard whispers, of the lowly Death Eaters claiming they were having a secret love affair, but no, they weren’t. When she had married Rodolphus, he knew that her heart had already been claimed by another man.

He had no qualms with that, of course, since he preferred taking what he wanted from who ever he pleased. So, they had lived their life together, but at the same time, apart.

Now, Bellatrix stood in her large kitchen, attempting an anniversary surprise for Tom. Not many people knew the workings of their relationship. In the public’s eyes, he was the dominant, unloving, cold shell of a man. But, when he was only around Bellatrix, he let his inner side come out. 

He was still dominant of course, but, he was more comfortable and had let Bellatrix take the lead in many of their trysts. That, and, he was more of a’ bring your love home a filthy muggle’ kind of man, instead of the boring, useless flowers. 

Bellatrix was attempting to make a basic shepherd's pie, and had already browned and ground the lamb meat. She had forgotten about it at one point, while she was preparing the other ingredients. So, she had ended up with meat that was burnt on one side, and it still had hints of pink in the middle. 

She didn’t notice or mind, so she started adding in the vegetables. Starting with the carrots, she started chopping the entire carrot; leaves and all, with first skinning it. She had also cut up the entire onion, without removing the flaky skin or roots, along with the celery and turnips. 

Moving onto the seasoning, she added 4 tablespoons of salt and pepper, and the three entire sprigs of parsley. She then placed 6 whole potatoes on top of the mixture and placed it in the oven to cook. Turning the knob to the correct temperature was easy for Bellatrix, and not noticing that the oven was on 500 degrees instead of the correct 375 degrees and settled down at the table to read.

Soon, her timer was going off, and she pulled the dish out of the oven. The complete top and bottom of the food was black, and instead of calling for the elves to come help, she decided to just cover the entire thing with cheese.

When she had finished setting the table, Tom had entered their dining room.

“That smells divine, love, what have you cooked?” He said, before settling himself at the table.

“Shepherd's pie! And, I’ve done it all by myself!” Bellatrix replied as she settled herself in.

Tom then proceeded to grab the bottle of wine, and magically uncorked it, before pouring Bellatrix and himself a half-full glass. Bellatrix then proceeded to serve Tom and herself, before picking up her fork and taking a bite.

It tasted rough and harsh on her tongue, but after spending fifteen years in Azkaban, it had not bothered her too much. Tom, however, immediately spit out the foul concoction.

“What in Merlin’s name is in that?” Requested Tom, before taking his napkin and wiping the tip of his tongue.

“Just the normal ingredients, I got the recipe from Harpy. I think it tastes just fine!” Bellatrix exclaimed, before she took another bite.

“Maybe, next time you want to cook, have the elves help,” he said, before pulling a whole sprig of parsley from his serving. “Dear, you only add the leaves on this bit.”

Lord Voldemort really did appreciate the offering of her kitchen skills. But after spending fourteen years being unable to enjoy the fine delicacies of food, he really enjoyed his ability to taste now.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on FFNet!  
> Reviews are appreciated!


End file.
